INTRODUCTION – Overall my first draft introduction consisted of two summary paragraphs on Gee and Cuddy’s work. But for my final draft I deleted the majority of these paragraphs and instead I compared the two works in general for my opening statement. Then I went into a sentence or two on each author specifically, and ended with a claim. I believe I introduced my sources much more concisely as well as stating my perspective more efficiently, no rambling.
EVIDENCE AND EXPLANATIONS – Overall I changed a lot of my first draft. I kept the concept of disagreeing with Gee’s ideas on Discourses not being able to be joined or taught. Yet I reinforced with the thesis of agreeing overall with Cuddy due to her real life experiences and experiments proving otherwise. I used some examples but used new ones as well, and got rid of some. Overall, the majority of the essay is rewritten with new examples and explanations.
REORGANIZATION – As far as reorganization I basically created a whole new essay, I may have used a quote here or there along with choice words, but no large chunks of texts were reused.
NEW PARAGRAPHS – All of my essay were essentially new paragraphs with few repeated words. I changed the majority due to strengthening my thesis, before I was simply stating if I agree or not, wheres in the second draft I tried my best to blend concepts with the central thesis.
