INTRODUCTION – In my final draft introduction I made sure to explain what a discourse is in the first place and what Gee mentioned were necessary to be included in one. With this said I went into more depth with what is required for scientific discourse. I explain the impact of these building tasks whereas before I simply listed them. I slightly altered the opening sentence to add the term practices due to it being another influential factor that I wanted to carry throughout my paper. My introduction to my sources remained the same. And lastly as I mentioned above my thesis became more clear due to me adding that specific practices are required in every discourse and in science in depth practices are required.
EVIDENCE AND EXPLANATIONS – As far as new evidence went my two quotes in my last paragraph were new and the quote in my “branching out” paragraph were not in the original paper. I added the branching out quote/paragraph as an attempt to add more complexity to my paper since I need to improve on that. And I rewrote my last paragraph due to it being weak and obtaining two Haas quotes which made no sense.
REORGANIZATION – In my final draft I did no moving around that I remember of, or see of, I simply added new sentences along with deleting others.
NEW PARAGRAPHS – As I mentioned above I added a paragraph at the end and a branching out paragraph. I added them for complexity and due to my last paragraph being weak. In addition to this I practically rewrote my conclusion due to it being very weak and rushed in my original. I simply wrote and attempted to write what a conclusion should look like. Overall I think in general it significantly strengthened my paper and added hopefully another level due to me trying to improve on my complexity.
