- Based off of my draft I have affirmed Brandt’s definition of a sponsor as a whole as well as a sponsor as a withholder. Along with confirming, I challenge Brandt’s belief that sponsorship through withholding only creates negative impacts, attitudes and memories. I believe that sponsorship through withholding can in-fact enable confidence and independence. In addition to this, I do not believe that sponsors as a whole need to gain something out of helping another, this shows yet another challenge to the author’s definition. I was also looking into showing how sponsors also don’t need to supply resources, instead they can simply share their knowledge.
- Overall my peer group believes that my introduction goes too in depth and is too lengthy. That I should cut it down as well as distribute some of the information into my body paragraphs for a lead in to the topic. As far as introduction of authors goes I believe I did well, my group’s only comment for improvement is introducing the sources by their full name.
- As far as revision goes for evidence in my first draft I believe that the evidence I have is very strong, and my peers agree with me. Although I definitely need to add a quote in from Williams at some point due to full-filling the projects requirements. And as I mentioned above I would like to look into showing how sponsors do not need to have direct resources in order to be considered a sponsor. This would require two new pieces of evidence.
